Sunday, January 15, 2017

WEEK NINETEEN DIVISIONAL ROUND VS. HOUSTON TEXANS W 34-16

well kids,

in spite of the impressive score and the covering of the spread, it was not a particularly dominant win by our patriots in last night's divisional playoff game. i blame tommy's mustache.

our fearless quarterback clearly didn't realize how much the extra weight on his upper lip would affect his passing ability, and he threw as many interceptions last night as he threw in his last 12 games. neither was completely his fault, but both made me completely infuriated. tommy wound up 18 of 38 for 287 yards and two touchdowns - making this one of his poorer playoff performances in which we still managed to win. i hope you got that out of your system, tommy. go shave!


i've heard a lot of chatter today about how "suspect" our defense looks again, but i didn't think they looked so awful. yes, it was brock osweiler, but they did intercept him three times - and they held houston to 16 points (13 of which came on very short fields thanks to patriots turnovers). i was alright with the d, but my initial inclination for this week's tommy was to give it to jules. when the going gets tough, we can count on julian to make the catch and move the chains, which he did to the tune of 137 yards. but while julian might be the world's best security blanket (mmmhmmm... wait... give me a second...), even i recognize that this game was the dion lewis show. not only did he have an explosive punt return for a touchdown early in the game, he also wound up with rushing and receiving touchdowns - the only player in playoff history to have all three. sorry jules. even with dion's fumble and your snugglability, he's getting this week's tommy. sure is nice to have you back, d!


i know this wasn't the resounding win everyone expected and now the patriots look vulnerable and blah blah blah, but i'm really not too worried about this one. just like in denver, we saw that our team has tommy's back and can still find ways to win games when he's not on his. besides- anyone who's been following this crazy train for the last 17 years knows that a tommy-terrible is usually followed by a tommy-terrific, and no matter who we play next week, this was definitely the order in which to have them. i'm suspicious that you all got lazy during the bye week, so double down on your happy patriots thoughts, kids! you're running out of chances, and i know you want to see tommy complete an entire season as much as i do!

have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

WEEK SEVENTEEN @ MIAMI DOLPHINS W 35-14

hey kids-

happy new year! our patriots started 2017 with a W and a ton of momentum heading into the playoffs. while it's exciting that this win clinched home field advantage throughout, it might be more exciting that this win was a win. in miami!!! that almost never happens.

our fearless quarterback generally plays poorly in miami, but the team rallied to give him a hand and it turned into a pretty terrific showing. he wound up 25 of 33 with 276 yards and three touchdowns - bringing him to 28 on the season with just two interceptions. that set a new record - but i've got a feeling that's the last thing on tommy's mind. 


our patriots are really looking solid heading into the playoffs, and there were plenty of contenders for the totw. our defense continued the streak of turnovers with a interception by logan ryan and an awesome fumble recovery that shea mcclellin managed to return for 69 yards before getting hilariously exhausted and heading out of bounds. michael floyd made his presence known in this game, fighting for yards after catch - including a great effort to stretch into the endzone. he also delivered a now-infamous killer block that left the field wide open for julian's 77-yard reception. that reception was just one of jules' amazing plays during this game, and it was exciting to see the league's leader in dropped pass come away with a career high 151 yards. he got this week's afc offensive player of the week- and he's getting this week's tommy. nice work, jules! rest up. on to playoffs.


unless miami beats pittsburgh, we play the winner of the raiders/texans game a week from this saturday night. that gives you plenty of time to think you happy patriots playoff thoughts. root for whichever of those teams you think we can beat most easily, then think those happy patriots thoughts extra hard. i'm finally feeling good about this team - and i don't think any of us is ready for this season to be over. so, you know. do your job! 

have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Saturday, December 24, 2016

WEEK SIXTEEN VS. NEW YORK JETS W 41-3

twas the morn before Christmas
when our pats played to clinch
playoff homefield advantage
would the jets play the grinch?

the weather was stormy 
as the first half got started
but touchdown by touchdown
the bluer skies parted

our fearless QB
played just like a machine
throwing 27 passes
and completing 17

the offense kept coming 
tommy worked every angle 
with touchdowns to bennett
to white and to lengle 


even blount rushed two touchdowns
and steph nailed two kicks
but the highlight this game
was the defensive picks

our CBs were smoking
and caught more receptions
than the jets' own receivers 
with three interceptions 

malcolm butler had two
he made new york cry "mommy!"
plus he fell on a fumble!
and he earned this week's tommy


now we'd all like our season
to end with more wins
so think happy thoughts 
as we take on the 'phins 

may your morrow be merry 
many drinks may you have 
happy Christmas to all 
see you next week, love dav