Friday, January 16, 2015


live from gillette stadium- it’s saturday night! featuring tom brady! julian edelman! vince wilfork! the gronk! jamie collins! danny amendola! and your host, dav!
hey kids-
it was a nailbiter against the ravens, and I have the bitten nails to prove it! thankfully all that drama kept the crowd on its feet and me from freezing to death during my very first visit to gillette stadium!  i’m not gonna lie – i almost froze to death, but it was SO TOTALLY WORTH IT.
our fearless quarterback looks even more fearless in person...or maybe that was just the insane mad dash into the end zone RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE while i sat in the third row on the 30 yard line. happily for me, that was just the beginning of tommy’s terrific performance – which ended with three and a half passing touchdowns and one rushing touchdown – along with 365 yards. here he is, being tom brady RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. check it out, kids! I totally took my own totw picture!

it was a rollcoaster ride of a game, but our patriots fought hard to make sure my first trip to gillette ended victoriously. jamie collins got several steps closer to being my favorite defensive player ever, gronk put on a big (and surprisingly lumbering in person) show,  and danny amendola played like he knew i came to see him. our patriots even pulled out all the stops with a still-makes-me-giddy trick play – an oh-so-pretty flea flicker from tommy to julian to danny RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. serious dav porn. i’m just saying. i couldn’t have asked for a more incredible game, and i couldn’t be more excited to give this week’s tommy of the week to its namesake. down by two touchdowns twice, tommy put the patriots on his fearless quarterback shoulders, showing his leadership, competiveness, and general roguish charm RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. what a game! what a win! what a cute butt! thanks for a great night, tommy!

we play the colts on sunday kids, and i’m still too excited to be super nervous – though the butterflies are starting to set in. my happy patriots thoughts have been irrepressible this week, so add yours to the mix,  and let’s show those colts we don’t need luck when we’ve got tom brady. did i mention he was RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. holy crap that was amazing.
have a great weekend, and go pats!
love dav


Saturday, January 3, 2015


hey kids-
happy new year, and welcome to the first ever totw two-fer! with holiday travel and holiday drinking, i missed a recap – so we’re doing double duty this week. let’s two it!
our fearless quarterback certainly didn’t deliver his best showings at the end of this season, though he did only play for half of the final game. still, with 182 yards and one touchdown against the jets and 80 yards and no touchdowns against the bills, tommy ended 2014 with a fizzle. it wasn’t exactly what I was hoping to see before heading into the playoffs, but I’m told he’s saving the bang for 2015, so I’m okay with it.

while our offense was spluttering and resting up for playoffs, the rest of our team continued to play hard and keep us in games. the win against the jets was ugly and by the skin of our teeth, and it wouldn’t have been likely without danny amendola’s 90 yards in kick returns. danny’s been around long enough to know how much i hate losing to the jets – and how much i wish i could heart him without him becoming a douche or going to prison – so i’m taking all the effort personally. I’m going to go ahead and award him the tommy of the week and hope for the best. don’t become a douche, danny!

against the bills, jamie collins recovered a fumble he forced in the first place. the awesomest part was that jamie actually went to make a tackle and missed, falling on the ground – only to get back up, try again, and force the fumble. that’s the kind of effort that gives me hope heading into the playoffs – and gives jamie the final totw of the season.

in BREAKING NEWS, we interrupt this regularly scheduled if wildly overdue tommy of the week to bring you this important announcement: I’M GOING TO THE PATRIOTS DIVISIONAL PLAYOFF GAME! woo hoo! it’ll be my first time at gillette and my first playoff game, so think your happy patriots thoughts extra extra hard that we win! a loss would not only mean the end of season, but it would also mean a lot of staring at the girl crying on the train all the way back to new york city.
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Tuesday, December 16, 2014


hey kids-
twas two weeks before christmas, and my big winter wish
was for tommy to triumph and gut those damned fish.
tensions were high as he entered gillette- 
but he made it a game that we soon won’t forget!
and i in my pats hat at my nondouchey bar
sipped a bacon martini – yeah, i know it’s bizarre.
the pats started to drive! a touchdown was expected!
and then son of bitch- the pass was deflected!
the offense was sleeping right through the first half,
but vince and the boys gave us reasons to laugh.
and then tommy’s two touchdowns and 287 yards
made it certain that vict’ry was there in the cards.

when the offense awakened as we hit quarter three,
what a sight to behold- it was something to see!
blount, shane and gronk all got in on the fun,
but when push came to shove, defense made sure we won. 
playing 60 full minutes, making stops and more stops,
they had sacks, interceptions, and forced plenty of drops.
but which guy should get it – the weekly award?
there were so many big plays – and the D even scored!
so with 10 solid tackles and his pick and panache 
patrick chung’s great big sunday trumps tommy’s big dash.
our long lost friend patrick picked a great time to peak -
and by now you all know- he gets the tommy of the week!

now i never count chickens, or jinx us with bets,
but i’m feeling okay about pats versus jets.
still, we’re playing in jersey, and i wanna win lots,
so come on! get to work thinking patriots thoughts!
i’ll catch you next weekend with all that games’ stats-
so have a great week- and go go go PATS!

love dav