Monday, September 18, 2017

WEEK TWO @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS W 36-20

hey kids-

our patriots bounced back against the saints, and even with my patriots dissociative disorder in full swing, this was a significantly more enjoyable game to watch than last week's. thank god for gronk.

remember that movie 13 going on 30 - when the 13 year old girl couldn't wait to be "thirty and flirty and thriving?" in my head, our fearless quarterback is rocking his own new decade as "forty and sporty and kicking all of your 20-year-old asses - so suck it."  or something like that. tommy wound up with three touchdowns - all the in the first quarter - and went 30 of 39 for 447 yards, which is more yards than our entire offense generated last week. i know, the saints defense is terrible, but a win is a win, and i'm happy with this one - and to see tommy looking like tommy again.


in fact, we're skipping the suspense this week and awarding the totw directly to its namesake. gronk did give tommy a literal run for it, and pretty much everyone on the team stepped up their games from last week, but tommy gets it anyway. three touchdowns in one quarter!!! forty and sporty and kicking all of your 20-year-old asses - so suck it.



we'll have a tougher challenge next week against the houstons, and to be honest, i'm not completely sure we're ready. on the plus side, the houstons probably aren't ready either. who will get readiest fastest? think your happy patriots thoughts that it's us. despite my seeming ambivalence, i do like winning better than losing.   

have a great week, and go pats.


love dav

Sunday, September 10, 2017

WEEK ONE VS. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS L 42-27

hey kids-

well, our patriots lost the season opener, and i'm not really fussed about it. by now you've all heard that the last two or three or four times we lost our season opener, we won the super bowl. yeah, yeah, bandwaggoners. from the totw 2/15/15:

HOLY CRAP THE PATRIOTS WON THE SUPER BOWL!!!!

remember this?:

(from the TOTW 9/8/14) WEEK ONE @ MIAMI DOLPHINS L 33_20
so the good news is that tommy’s in last place and you know he’s pissed off about it, which can only be good for us. the even gooder news is that the last time we lost the season opener, we won the super bowl.

so, you know, there's that. plus, injury injury injury, first game first game first game, blah blah blah. like i said, i'm not really fussed about it.

our fearless quarterback didn't look especially fearless, but i think it had more to do with first night jitters or a broken jules or a couple of new guys than it did with turning 40 (because 40 is AWESOME! i was so jealous tommy was doing it, i did it too!). he had a ton of passes that were just a teensy bit off the mark and wound up a measly 16 for 36 for 267 yards and no touchdowns. tommy was definitely pissed off about it, but he'd like everyone to know he has the situation firmly under control.


there are a ton of new faces that have joined our patriots this year, and i like brandin cooks already! i actually like a lot of them already, which is why i'm not really fussed. however, they did not perform to their fullest potential, so this week's tommy was a little tough. the obvious contender is gillislee and his three scores were certainly impressive...but i'm giving it to devin mccourty. he's the only person on our team that i felt like wanted to win this game, and he's getting it. object if you wish.


i feel like this loss might be a little bit my fault because i didn't write a totw of the super bowl, so i didn't remind you all to think your happy patriots thoughts. i didn't do my job, you didn't do yours - and the whole thing fell apart. SO. we play the saints on sunday, and god knows drew brees is coming to play. let's hope brandin cooks shows his old team what they're missin, tommy gets into groove, and our defense consists of more people who want to win than devin mccourty. think your happy patriots thoughts, have a great week, and go pats.



love dav

Monday, January 23, 2017

WEEK TWENTY CONFERENCE ROUND VS. PITTSBURGH STEELERS W 36-17

hey kids-

well, maybe it wasn't the mustache. tom brady did not shave, but our patriots are going to the super bowl anyway. given the way in which they got there, i may grow a mustache myself. 

as expected (by me), our fearless quarterback rebounded from last week's subpar performance with one for the records - literally. tommy went 32 of 42 for three touchdowns and 384 yards, which was the most in patriots playoff history. based on quarterback rating, this was his third best playoff performance of his career. for anyone wondering about the ridiculously large coat, the explanation is simple: he and that mustache are just getting warmed up. 


after carrying tommy last week, this week our team hopped up onto his shoulders to enjoy the ride. our "untested" defense added two more turnovers to the stat sheet and had no trouble removing the stingers from the killer bs, holding pittsburgh to 17 points - including one impressive goal line stand i did *not* see coming. meanwhile, our detested offense played with enough venom for both teams, and after all that talk about those bs, it was the flea that wound up stealing this show. tommy's handoff to dion turned into a never-gets-old trick that landed in the endzone-bound arms of chris hogan. it was just one of many great catches that added up to a record-breaking 180 yards receiving for hogan - and almost earned him this week's tommy. sorry chris, but you're not the only one who broke a record last night - and the tommy of the week is going to its namesake. nice to see the leadership, competitiveness and general roguish charm is still going strong, tommy!



we play atlanta in super bowl 51 in two weeks, kids, but i'll be back next sunday with the tommy of the super bye. get started on your happy patriots thoughts - we definitely need a double dose heading into houston!

have a great week, and go TO THE SUPER BOWL pats!

love dav