Thursday, October 27, 2011


hey kids-

we made it through the bye week, and i think we all deserve a little reward for our suffering. so, without further ado, in honor of halloween, i proudly present the all eye candy edition of the tommy of the week! ‘cause our pats don’t just win, they look damned good doin it.

i usually try to avoid swooning over tom brady, since it tends to undermine my football credibility, at least til i open my mouth. besides, i’m usually too busy admiring the holy record-breaking, ass-kicking, miracle-working, gaming-winning wonder that is our fearless quarterback to admire his holy hotness. that said, tommy is lookin pretty holy hot these days.  while i can’t say this makes me wanna buy uggs, it does make me wanna head east for my favorite cold-weather past time...which, of course, is watching football and drinkin beer, dad!

in i heart wes welker news, my issues with swooning clearly do not extend to wes. in my defense, he does appear to be egging me on.

speaking of being egged on...our not-so-rookie tight end wound up with a little egg on his face this week. luckily, most of us weren’t looking at his face to notice! the last time i considered giving the tommy of the week to a girl was when gisele had her baby on the team’s day off so tommy didn’t have to miss practice. the porn star who managed to get rob gronkowski to expose this harder side almost snagged it this time–  but ultimately, she lost out to the smokin six pack...of beer, which i’ll be drinking while i watch football on sunday, dad! on a side note, i think i’m finally understanding the merits of twitter.

alright kids – that’s all i’ve got for treats, so let’s hope our patriots are up to their old tricks come sunday. those steelers are scary, no costumes required! think happy patriots thoughts, and have a great week!

go pats!
love dav

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


hey kids-
well, our patriots took all that stress i was expecting last week and saved it up for a heart attack game against the dallas cowboys. i’m not gonna lie- it was ugly, with a slew of turnovers and penalties on both sides, and it came right down to the wire.
luckily, our fearless quarterback is particularly skilled at walking that wire, and with 2:31 left, he went 8 for 9, capped off by a touchdown pass to aaron hernandez with 22 seconds to spare! i should’ve known tommy had it under control, but i spent most of the drive with my forehead planted on the shoulder of a stranger. nothing like a nailbiter to help you make friends! looks like the coaches were slightly alarmed too, but tommy was nothin but focused. here he is, swaggering off to go all john wayne on the cowboys.

every week, wes welker stretches to the tips of his toes for the sake of some amazing play, but rather than show this week’s incredible touchdown extension, i’m gonna mix things up. instead, here’s wes welker stretching to the tips of his toes...for the sake of the kids! or maybe for the sake of looking proportional next to tommy. say what you will, i’m told he’s perfectly-davlynn-sized. – and he’s totally adorable on his tip toes. heart ya wes! call me!

as loathe as i am to reward waiting – literally – until the last minute, i can’t deny tom brady an award that specifically celebrates his leadership, competitiveness and general roguish charm when he leads and competes in a roguishly-charming fashion to win the game. so, in spite of an impressive performance by our defense that kept us in the game and let tommy play the hero, the tommy of the week goes to tom brady. here he is, showing off his most competitive (and roguishly-charming) quarterback expression. bet he practices that in the mirror!

we’re on the bye this sunday, and while i usually offer to think happy thoughts for your not-on-the-bye team, they’ve already been diverted to the st. louis cardinals and julia, who always thinks happy patriots thoughts for me. so, think happy cardinals thoughts – or get a jumpstart on positive vibes for our return against pittsburgh.  don’t worry, i’l remind ya again in the highly-anticipated tommy-of-the-bye, which will appear somewhere around this time next week.
have a great one, and go pats – and cards!
love dav

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


hey kids-
we beat the jets! and in our throwback unis, too, which almost always prove to be unlucky. i'll admit they were an improvement over the stupid pink highlights we had on last week. we get it - the nfl loves boobies. let’s return to our regularly-scheduled uniforms already!
it was a surprisingly low-stress game on sunday that mostly consisted of the jets chasing our patriots all day long – sometimes more effectively than others. they caught up to tommy on quiet a few occasions, which generally resulted in our fearless quarterback landing on his fearless butt. it didn’t seem to phase him much, as he managed 321 yards and a touchdown. our offense line could’ve been a little tighter, but tommy is the slowest man in the nfl. this jet wants to hug him for it! 

there’s an awesome article on espn about the ways in which wes has evolved in the offense this year- from catching longer passes (31% have been for more than 11 yards) to working outside the numbers. it’s pretty impressive – and provides tons of reasons to heart him, if ya need em. watching cromartie and revis chase him around while he picked up 124 yards clinched it for me.  here he is, burning revis on one of those long passes and makin my heart flutter. dreamy sigh.
our defense finally started to come together on sunday, and it was awesome watching them make some consistent stops that weren’t just on the goal line. still, it won’t be any surprise that this week’s tommy goes to benjarvus green-ellis. the boy was a workhorse, with 136 yards and two touchdowns to prove it. nice work, ben! here he is with a whole squadron of jets giving chase - less effectively, in this case.

we’ve got one more game before our early bye- against dallas on sunday afternoon. i’d say mean things about tony romo being about as dumb as tommy is slow, but i *know* jovan was thinkin happy patriots thoughts while the ‘boys were on the bye. however, i’m sure he’s stopped by now - so i hope you’ve started to pick up the slack. have a great week- and go pats!
love dav

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


 hey kids-
this week is getting away from me, so i’d better get right to it.
the pats were on my coast this week taking on the raiders on a gorgeous blue-sky afternoon. tommy returned to his old stomping grounds (generally speaking ) and even got a spiffy new haircut to impress the folks back home. for a little while, i was worried he was going to be like samson without his locks, but our fearless quarterback got it together eventually. it wasn’t nearly as impressive a performance as we’ve been seeing, but there also weren’t nearly as many interceptions! here he is, lookin as happy about that as i was.

wes, on the other hand, had another amazing game – and i totally heart him and every single one of his 158 yards and his touchdown. technically speaking,  he’s averaging 152 yards per game this season, which i guess makes this a pretty “average” day at the office...but it sure looked like he was stretching his limits to me. see for yourself!

it wouldn’t be unreasonable to give the tommy to wes again this week – or to wilfork, who, with his second pick of the season, now leads the team in interceptions. it was also pretty exciting to see ochocinco learning the routes and making some plays. still, the patriots apparently stressed balance between the running and passing games this week, and stevan ridley was a big part of making that happen. in spite of getting shut down early, our rookie running back showed perseverance (a key totw award-winning quality!) and racked up a total 100 yards and one touchdown – which earns him the tommy of the week. congrats, kiddo!  if that look on your face is any indication, this is just the beginning.

the pats are back where they belong on sunday, in foxborough, to take on the jets. the jets have lost their last two games, and it would be pretty sweet to watch them crash and burn with a three-game skid. i hope you haven’t waited til now to start thinking your happy patriots thoughts - cuz we’re going to need em!
soooooo- think lots of happy patriots thoughts, cross your fingers, knock on wood, do some shots (they’re lucky, i swear!), have a great week and GO PATS!
love dav