Monday, December 28, 2015


hey kids-
well, the patriots lost to the jets, and i’m not really that fussed about it. our boys looked like most of us do heading back to work after the holiday – easing in at about 70%, taking it easy, shaking off the cookie coma. with all the injuries, our team only looked about 70% staffed, and if i’m honest, i only cheered with about 70% enthusiasm, too.
our fearless quarterback looked much less frustrated that you’d imagine, considering the majority of his offensive weapons were kickin it in boston with leftover turkey. all in all, tommy went 22 of 31 for 231 yards and one annoying interception – but even that was only about 70% annoying. considering it was a pretty crummy performance, i didn’t really care that much. looks like he didn’t, either.

most of this game was long and boring, which seems to be status quo for our divisional matchups this year, and there weren’t many stand out performances to note. our defense did extend their scoring streak to two games – which I hope means they’ve decided to start a trend. since jamie collins recovered the fumble for a touchdown and was the leading tackler this week, he’s getting the tommy. sorry i’m only 70% excited about it, jamie! i’m 100% glad you’re back.

we play miami in miami on sunday, and i just this second realized it won’t be december anymore! that’s awesome news, since we often lose to miami in miami in december. after last sunday’s grind, think your happy patriots thought that this game is more entertaining, that we end the season and start the new year a win, and that we finally get a much needed julian fix. (just like one catch. c’mon jules. you know you want to.) i know that’s a lot to ask of your patriots thoughts, but i have faith! don’t let me down.
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Monday, December 21, 2015


tis the week before christmas, and that means it’s time
that i set your tommy to meter and rhyme.
i hope that my recap delights and enlightens-
now let’s get down to business on pats versus titans.

it was warmish in foxb’ro when the pats took the field
as they came to deliver our christmas gift sealed.
with the girls dressed like santa, as cute as could be
(and i sure hope that outfit is under my tree!)

our QB looked fearless, although he was sick,
he threw two perfect touchdowns – and nary a pick.
he hit gronk! he hit white! tennessee looked like fools!
then he laughed as he said “we don’t even have jules!”

our offense looked solid, they allayed all our fears
with a new band of running back three musketeers.
and the defense looked fierce! every guy got his quota
bringing big hits and sacks til they broke mariota!

there are so many pats who get hon’rable mention-
chandler jones and j-collins both merit attention,
and don’t forget keyshawn’s amazing return,
or butler’s great pick on a sweet douglas burn.

but there’s only one winner (there ought to be five)
and i’m choosing the guy with the good sense to dive.
first a strip sack! a fumble! and then bouncing galore!
then, the first time all season – a defensive score!

it’s that new guy! we just learned his number last game
and this week it looks like we’re learning his name.
akiem hicks – we’re so happy your trade didn’t trouble you
and i’m pleased to present you the TOTW.

we’re in new york next weekend, with the jets looking mean
but our boys need the win as we leave week sixteen.
you recall those two losses we’ll have to offset
for a postseason road that goes right through gillette.

plus i really hate losing – so you know what to do
come on, patriots people, i’m talking to you!
think your patriots thoughts! wear your patriots hats!
happy christmas to all – and to all, YAY GO PATS!

love dav

Friday, December 18, 2015


hey kids-
well, after back-to-back losses, our patriots are back on track- and so am i with your tommies. the first loss (WEEK TWELVE @ DENVER BRONCOS L 30-24) was a heartbreaker and I couldn’t stomach looking at game photos, and the second (WEEK THIRTEEN VS. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES L 35-28)  was a comedy of errors – but i was busy moving into my own place (hurray) and writing for people who pay me (hurray hurray). that brings us to this week’s win against the houstons. let’s do it!
i knew things were going to be alright when i saw tommy warming up pregame – with his ferocious face firmly in place. we never lose when he pulls out the ferocious face! our fearless quarterback wound 22 of 30 for 226 yards and two touchdowns – one to his barely gone but sorely missed buddy, rob gronkowski. between the face and the gronk, this one was in the bag.

the hits just keep on coming, with blount and easley both leaving this game with season-ending injuries. thankfully, plenty of guys stepped up to fill in the holes – particularly jabaal sheard and akiem hicks on defense, each with two sacks. gronk racked up 87 yards and little white rushed for another touchdown, but this week’s tommy is going to tommy. it’s been a rough couple of weeks, but our tommy keeps finding ways to keep us afloat – even acting as a running back and receiver for our depleted offense. leadership, competitiveness, and general roguish charm win the day! here he is, explaining to the refs that we’re going to win this one, no matter how many calls they decide to reverse.

we clinched a playoff spot with this win – and with julian edelman running around in practice again (hurray hurray hurray!!!!), our future is looking more promising than our present. we’ve got tennessee on sunday and i’ve got high hopes, so think your happy patriots thoughts! I’ll be back with the holiday edition of the tommy sooner than later – promise!
have a great weekend, and go pats!

love dav