Sunday, October 25, 2015


hey kids-
the patriots beat the jets.
that’s good enough for me! have a great week – and go pats!
just kidding! it would be a terrible shame if i didn’t fill you in on our fearless quarterback and his bazillionth fourth quarter comeback of his career – which, for the record, was just as exciting as the first. tommy got off to another slow start, but he wound up 34 for 54 and two touchdowns – along with four carries for 15 yards and one touchdown. apparently he decided to fill in for dion lewis himself. too bad he couldn’t fill in for our receivers – after 10 dropped passes, you know he was thinking about it. if this shot’s any indication, the patriots are lucky tommy even lets anyone else touch the ball. think he looks at gisele like this?

while the rest of our receivers were playing dropsies, danny amedola had another freaking awesome game this week, and it was nice to see he didn’t rest on his laurels after getting last week’s tommy. malcolm butler also looked pretty sharp, and of course, tommy’s fourth quarter performance literally epitomized the leadership, competitiveness and general roguish charm the totw celebrates...but I’m giving this one to rob ninkovich. i’m seriously shocked that he didn’t have like six interceptions, because almost every time fitzpatrick threw the ball, rob got a hand on it. don’t worry, rob, butterfingers were going around today. at least it’s not actually your job to catch it!

we have a quick turnaround this week with miami on thursday night, so you’ll need to concentrate your happy patriots thoughts into just four days. start now.
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Monday, October 19, 2015


hey kids-
it’s moving day tomorrow – yes, AGAIN – so lets do this. it was a way more exciting game than anyone anticipated, but our patriots pulled out a victory against the colts. i was surrounded by annoying people last night who kept saying things like “i need gronk to get 167 yards!” or “the patriots better beat the spread,” to which i replied, deadpan, “i need the patriots to win by one." there was only one happy person in town last night, and it was me. what are you gonna do without me, san diego?
our fearless quarterback went 23 for 37, with 312 yards and three lovely touchdowns. sadly, he also suffered his first interception of the season when brokenfingered julian edelman bobbled a pass that went haywire and got picked off. i bet julian’s more upset about it than i am, and i’m pretty freaking upset. nevertheless, this is the part about tommy, not julian, so let’s look at him. that’s pretty much how I felt about the whole thing, too, tommy.
i wish all the people who wanted to give away my totw last week would tell me who to give it to this week, because i really don’t know. i liked jamie collins’ blocked punt (onside kick - is that still a punt? i think so...) move, but he missed a ton of tackles last night and i’m loathe to give a totw to a defense that gave up 27 points to andrew luck. i think that might be more than he’s scored cumulatively all season. mccourty had a really solid game and several near-interceptions, but again, 27 points to the colts! amendola had a surprisingly big game with 105 yards – and that might be more than he’s accumulated all season, so let’s give it to him. i can’t find one single danny amendola photo from last night...which kind of makes me rethink my decision. i think maybe i’m supposed to be giving this to lagarrette blount. oh wait – here we go. run, danny, run!

i’m tired of writing this now and want to have a glass of wine and watch the good wife before the big day tomorrow, so pretend i said something clever about the facing the jets on sunday.
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Sunday, October 11, 2015


hey kids-
so, the patriots beat the cowboys...and while i’m never going to argue with a win, this was one a lot less satisfying than I was anticipating considering i had to wait two weeks for it. i’m a little worried the dude at my bar who called me a greedy fan may have been right.
our fearless quarterback had a solid game after a slow start, going 20 of 27 for 275 yards and two touchdowns. much of this game felt like a flashback to last season’s long and slow and boring, so trust me when i say it looks a lot better on paper than it did in real life. luckily, winning looks a lot better in real life, and so does tommy – especially when he’s all fired up after a quarterback sneak for six. you spike that ball like you’re part gronk, tommy.

i was temped to give the tommy of the week to stephen gostkowski for not only nailing a 57 yard field goal, but for slicing every single point-after-touchdown kick right through the middle like it’s, you know, his job. apparently the rule change has created a lot of stress for kickers all across america except the ones who live in new england. however, stephen will have to continue to be consistently awesome, because julian edelman snatched this week’s tommy right of out the air along with his 59 yard bob-n-weave touchdown catch. i hear julian is getting quite a reputation for making girls scream, and I am now case in point. that play was easily the high point of this game. thanks for the oh-oh-oh, julian!

we play the colts next sunday, and i’m not gonna lie: i’m hoping for a bloodbath. after a summer of deflagate ridiculousness, i hope tommy comes on like gangbusters and shows the NFL what it really means to beat a dead horse. man- that dude at my bar was TOTALLY right. i AM a greedy fan. whatever. glue sticks for everyone!
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav