Sunday, December 30, 2012


hey kids-
well, it wasn’t pretty, but we beat the jacksonville jags. you know it’s bad when your fearless quarterback gets out-thrown by chad henne- but after throwing 65 passes the week before, i suppose i should just be grateful tommy’s arm didn’t fall off.
tommy had his second consecutive game with two interceptions this week – doubling his season total in just seven days. neither of us was super-happy about it, but after two hard-fought battles on national tv, a letdown was inevitable. sometimes you’ve just gotta be happy to walk away with the “w,” tommy.

it sounds like rob gronkowski is healing nicely, and if he doesn’t play against the dolphins, he most certainly should be ready for the playoffs. in the meantime, aaron hernandez basked in his last t&a-by-default with this perfect catch – and perfect pose. don’t worry, aaron. something tells me there are more t&as in your future.

this was one of those games in which i was reminded of the value of wes welker. when the offense just can’t seem to get into rhythm, wes and tommy are almost always able to resort to the dink-and-dunk down the field, moving the chains enough to let stephen do his thing. while patrick chung’s last second interception in the end zone stopped the jags from tying, this week’s tommy goes to wes. let’s all try not to think about the fact this may be the last one he ever gets. i’ll always heart you at least a little, wes welker! 

we play our final game of the season against miami this afternoon, kids. enjoy it – since it’s sudden death from here on out! think happy patriots thoughts – and happy new year!
go pats!
love dav


hey kids-
it’s very, very old news now that our patriots lost to the 49ers in what turned out to be an incredible game if you stuck with it to the end. of our four losses, i’m the least disappointed by the this one. however- just before game time, janice emailed a reply to the previous week’s totw saying “these are a lot funnier when the pats lose.” for that reason – and because this is already ridiculously late – i’m keeping this as short, sweet, and unentertaining as possible. blame janice! i already hold her responsible for the loss.
after the high of the win against houston, i wondered if we might crash a bit in this game against the niners – and for the first half of this game, crash we did. bumbles, bobbles and bloopers galore had our boys looking an awful lot like the three stooges – and even tommy brady couldn’t pull off that look!

on the plus side, aaron hernandez proved he looks just as good losing as he does winning.

luckily, the patriots are the patriots, and they weren’t going down without a fight. our fearless quarterback led our team to 31 points in the second half, but even his 443 yards weren’t enough to salvage this slow start. still, it was tommy’s leadership, competitiveness, and general roguish charm that had even the most fierce of haters glued to the screen right down to the last second of this game, and this week’s tommy of the week goes to its namesake.

alright- that’s that. hope you’re happy janice!
this week’s tommy is coming up next.
go pats!
love dav

Saturday, December 15, 2012


holy patriots.
hey kids-
there’s something about the cold new england air in december that has a way of extinguishing teams that are “on fire.” our patriots routed the division-leading texans, and i can’t remember the last time they looked so well-prepared to completely shut down another team in every aspect of the game. maybe that’s why they looked so lousy against miami – they must’ve used that week to get ready for houston instead!
our fearless quarterback was fired up for this one, and it’s always fun to see tommy leading the charge. it’s hard to believe he had only 296 yards – especially since he racked up 100 of them in two of his four touchdown passes. of course, it was the stupid six-yard rush that took him 8 minutes to finish that really got him excited. does anybody else think he’s tried to devise a play in which he runs downfield to catch a pass he’s thrown? i love you tommy, but seriously.

in t&a news, aaron hernandez continues to be both awesome and adorable – and also continues to receive the t&a! not only did he beat out several houstons to recover an early patriots fumble with a sophisticated technique known as falling on the ball, but he also choreographed and performed highly-entertaining touchdown celebrations for each of his two end zone receptions. he here is after touchdown number one, spreading a little love he mixed up fresh. heyyyyyyy aaron...can i get a little whipped cream on that?

this was one of those games when every patriot did his job and did it well, once again igniting that spark of hope in brokenhearted patriots fans everywhere. whether it was watching it finally come together for lloyd, welcoming stallworth back in a big way, or cheering on a defense that made two fourth-down stops, patriots fans had plenty of reasons to be proud – and drunk! – on monday night. still, there’s no question this was tom brady’s show, and he’s getting this week’s tommy. hurray for the “brady bunch!”  i’m hearing that other fans in the NFL don’t find it nearly as entertaining as i do...but the ratings are pretty good.

we play san francisco tomorrow night, giving us our biggest test of the season for the second time in two weeks. i hear there’s snow in the forecast, so i’m hoping our pats will pull out a little more december magic – though i’m not above begging santa for an early christmas present.  i’ve been flying high on happy patriots thoughts all week – but i hope you’ve been practicing yours!
have a great saturday night, and go pats!
love dav

Saturday, December 8, 2012


hey kids-

it wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t pretty, but our patriots brought a w home from miami – clinching the division in the process – so i’m going to try not to complain about it.

our fearless quarterback threw way more passed than i’d have liked – especially considering it was for a measly 238 yards and one lonely touchdown. he also threw a rare legitimate interception that was not a tipped pass, a botched route, or blame-able on anyone but his own tom brady self. he does it so rarely, it’s easy to forget that sometimes he just makes mistakes. maybe you should stop telling the other guys right where you plan to throw the ball, tommy!

it makes me happy to see aaron hernandez back on the field, and not just because i like imagining being all wrapped up in those tattoos. aaron has a way of turning a five-yard-play into a 12-yard-play, and he did that to the tune of 97 yards on sunday. with an offense that still seems to be struggling to get into a consistent rhythm, those extra yards after the catch are crucial – and just one of the reasons he’s become the primary patriot of my affection. plus, i reallllllly like imagining being all wrapped up in those tattoos.

know what i’m not imagining? making out with wes with that big freaking caterpillar on his face! on the plus side, the miami defense seemed to have been as turned off by it as i was, and they let him rack up 12 catches and 103 yards. this is his 17th game in which he’s had 10 or more receptions, which ties him with jerry rice for the lead – although wes has needed less than half as many games as jerry did to accomplish that feat.  too bad you look like a porn star, wes, because that’s practically heart-able. seriously. even miami didn’t want to touch him!

not only do we have to wait all the way until monday night to see our pats in action again, but we also have to play the texans – and it should be one of our biggest tests of the season (until the week after...but we’ll get there). i’ve got two days of anxiety to get through – so throw in some happy dav thoughts with your happy patriots thoughts...but not too many. i don’t think the pats can spare them!

have a great weekend- and GO PATRIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!

love dav

Tuesday, November 27, 2012


hey kids-
know what’s better than beating the jets? beating the jets in a thanksgiving night blowout on national tv. happy thanksgiving indeed!
the jets looked like the keystone cops out there on thursday night, and our patriots took full advantage of their ineptitude. once again, players on both sides of the ball got in on the scoring action, and our fearless quarterback definitely had his fair share of the fun with 323 yards and four touchdowns. the only thing more fun than watching tommy dismantle the jets on the field was the hilarious moment after the game when the postgame reporter encouraged him to pick up a turkey leg. after taking a great big bite, he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it – so he danced around shaking it awkwardly for the rest of the interview. luckily, no one was looking at the turkey leg.

rob gronkowski’s out for a while, which means the t&a is going to aaron hernandez for the foreseeable future – though i’ll admit to being a bit partial to giving it to him anyway. in the spirit of the holiday, i figured i’d give us all something for which to be thankful – not that i wasn’t thankful for his return...but this is better.

once again, there were lots of excellent totw candidates, but eventually i settled upon steven gregory as the winner of this week’s tommy. not only did steven have an early interception that both prevented the jets from scoring and turned into a touchdown for our pats, but he also recovered a fumble that he returned for six himself. it’s not often one player on the defense scores more points than our best receiver – and it definitely merits the tommy of the week. from the way steven’s cradling this ball, those butterfinger receivers better beware!

we play in miami early on sunday morning, and i’m hoping the pats have kicked that “lose to miami in december” once and for all. it’d be nice to gain some more momentum for our big monday night matchup the following week against houston. with our thursday game, i’m early with the totw this week, so you’ve got lots of time to practice your happy patriots thoughts. start now!
have a fantastic week- and go pats!
love dav

Wednesday, November 21, 2012


hey kids-
quick turnaround this week, so we’d better get this done.
in hindsight, i guess i shouldn’t have been surprised by our patriots’ spectacular blowout of the colts. the boys don’t tend to take well to the rookie-vs.-brady drama that the media creates, and you’ll remember the smack down the boys put on tim tebow and the broncos about this time last year. this year, the hapless rookie in question was andrew luck, and our fearless quarterback made him look like a hapless rookie indeed. tommy racked up 331 yards and three touchdowns, and for that, he was awarded a great big "w” and this ever-so-stylish beanie. i love east coast winter.

i think it might be time for me to stop having a sub-feature of the tommy of the week. just two seasons into the i heart wes welker, poor wes went down for the count with that brutal knee injury... and my powers of doom and destruction only seem to be getting stronger. the very first season in to the t&a, both the t and the a are now officially broken. rob gronkowski fractured his arm during sunday’s game, and he’ll be out for the foreseeable future. luckily, he left us with one last memorable touchdown dance by which to remember him. for the sake of our playoff hopes, i’ll refrain from lusting after any more patriots until the off-season...which means i’ll have to start watching the voice to get a regular fix of my maroon 5 boyfriend to tide me over. i hope you all appreciate my sacrifice.

i love it when it’s hard to pick the tommy of the week – because that means our team played like a team, and that’s exactly what happened on sunday. everybody made big plays, and it really goes to show the potential of this roster. hopefully, it’s all coming together at just the right time. while it took a lot of help from a lot of people, tom brady was at the heart of this victory, and for that, he gets this week’s tommy. it sure is nice to see him smiling for a change!

alright kids. we’ve got the jets tomorrow night, and i know you’re all going to be doped up on turkey and pumpkin pie – but you know i hatehatehate losing to the jets. sneak in some happy patriots thoughts, and let’s all hope the holiday ends on a high note. for us. the jets fans can suck it.
happy thanksgiving- and go pats!

love dav

Saturday, November 17, 2012


hey kids-
does anybody else feel like watching the patriots this season is sorta like watching groundhog day? this game against the bills looked a lot like that game against seattle – and almost ended like it, too. but we’ll get to that.
i think the only person more frustrated than i am this season is probably tommy brady, and he certainly has reason to be. scoring 37 points should be enough to beat almost anybody – and most definitely the bills, but you can’t put this one all on our defense. our fearless quarterback’s 237 yards and two touchdowns should have included at least another touchdown reception and probably another 100 yards had our receivers been able hold onto the ball. i’m as baffled as you are, tommy.

another dropped should-have-been-a-touchdown by wes welker has me hearting him less than ever, and aaron hernandez is still while i wasn’t particularly thrilled with rob gronkowski this week, i thought we could all use a reminder as to why he has his own co-feature on the totw. oh, yeah! and by that, i mean ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhh.

as i said, this game against the bills came dangerously close to going the way of that seattle game, except for a perfect catch by devin mccourty that stopped the bills’ last minute rally in the end zone. i’m not going to wax poetic since it was our freaking defense missing plays all day that got us into that situation, but i will give the tommy of the week to devin mccourty. thanks for doing your job, devin. if only our receivers could make catches like this!

we play the colts tomorrow, kids, and while it’s not quite the same as when peyton was at the helm, they do have the same record we do. we’re probably going to need more than happy patriots thoughts to get this one done, but think em anyway. they certainly can’t hurt.
happy saturday- and go pats!
love dav

Saturday, November 3, 2012


hey kids-
so,  i don’t want to brag or anything, but i think the patriots may be reading the tommy of the week. after complaining last week that we were having way too many down-to-the-wire games, i was thrilled to kick back and watch our boys put on a show against the rams. maybe we should play all our games in london.
our fearless quarterback looked just like that tom terrific guy we used to know, showing off a little with 304 yards and four touchdown passes. it was nice to see tommy playing so beautifully, though i suppose when they plaster gigantic images of you all along the outside of wembley stadium, it does inspire you to deliver a larger-than-life performance.

rob gronkowski also delivered a fantastic performances on sunday – both on the field and in the end zone. after last week’s criticism of the signature gronk spike, he spiced things up – first with what was apparently intended to be an imitation of the palace guards. A for effort, C- for execution.

fortunately, rob had more than one opportunity to strut – and shake – his stuff in the end zone, racking up 146 yards, two touchdowns, and the tommy of the week. here he is, doing what would definitely be my touchdown dance if ever had reason to have one. as someone said to me on the street this week, hips don’t lie!

we’re on the bye tomorrow, kids, which means i’ll have to find another excuse to drink my breakfast (i’m accepting suggestions!). in the meantime, we come back with a tough division game against the bills, so get your happy patriots thoughts ready!
have a great week, and go pats!
love dav

Friday, October 26, 2012


hey kids-
the patriots are trying to kill me. in the nail-bitiest of many nail-biter games this season, our boys squeaked out a win against the new york jets – and in their cursed throwback unis, no less. remember those days when we used to win by 42 points and everyone hated us for not easing up in the fourth? i miss those days.
with our embarrassingly-talented offense continuing to splutter, our fearless quarterback needed a whole lot of help to get this one done. luckily, the boys were (just barely!) up to the job and everyone pitched in to make sure tommy’s two touchdowns and 259 yards were (just barely!) enough. our rockstar kicker was key in stretching out every last inch of those yards, nailing two crucial field goals to eventually give us the game. in the surfeit of ways i screamed at the tv suggesting how i might show stephen gostkowski my appreciation, this one actually didn’t make the list....but whatever works.

in other news, the other kowski on our team also had a pretty big game. the a in t&a pull down two touchdown passes, both of which he subsequently celebrated in typical rob gronkowski fashion.  cmon, gronk! spiking the ball is so cliche. i say show us your abs after touchdowns!

it took big plays by offense, defense, and special teams to ground the jets on sunday, but ultimately it was our defense that turned out to want this win the most. rob ninkovich had a solid game all around, but it was capped off by strip sack of mark sanchez that finally secured a pats victory – and this week’s tommy. i really don’t have anything pithy to say about it – other than to note that for this is the second week in a row in which i’ve said thanks rob!

our pats take on the rams in the nfl’s annual stupidlondongame on sunday, and then we’re rewarded with the blessed bye. your happy patriots thoughts will need extra time to get across the pond, so start sendin’ em now!
have a great week, and go pats!
love dav

Friday, October 19, 2012


hey kids-

this is going to be the hardest the tommy of the week has ever been for me to write, and not because our patriots lost (which supersucks). sunday marked day four of my trip to new york – or day four of the vacation of perpetual intoxication, as it shall heretofore be known.  the only way im even writing this (on the plane, probably over iowa) is courtesy of an in-flight margarita. thanks dad!

so, from what i remember (quarters one through three and a half), our fearless quarterback looked pretty good right up to the point i started seeing three of him.  i think that’s the point at which he started seeing three of all of our receivers (i heard there was a helmet-to-helmet, but didn’t see it) and subsequently started throwing interceptions. seeing as how he had 395 yards and two touchdowns, it really seems like we should have won this game. it also seems like a girl who’s 5’4 shouldn’t be able to drink six shots and 47 beers. life is a mystery, tommy.

the highlight of this game as i remember it was definitely the reappearance of aaron hernandez – who promptly reminded us why we missed him with an awesome touchdown catch that prominently featured all his lovely tattoos. dreamy sigh. make it rain, baby. (hear that wes? i dreamy sighed over aaron hernadez. yeah. you heard it. sign your contract!)

i actually did watch this game right up until the very end, but i have no idea who should get the tommy of the week. i really don’t know how we lost this game, and i’m kind of just mad at all the patriots – even the cute ones – for allowing that to happen. so, i’m giving the tommy of the week to my friend rob. granted, he is the one responsible for my drunken condition, but all things considered, it was probably for the best, given the way that game ended. also, he did catch me when i almost fell down after that second interception. thanks, rob!

it feels like we’re giving it away this season, and i don't know what it's going to take to make our patriots hungry again. i really thought we looked great sunday until the implosion, and i know i’m superspoiled by these last few 13-3 seasons, so maybe a slow start isn’t the end of the world. still, the jets come to town on sunday, and i dont know that we can recover from 3-4, so start thinking happy patriots thoughts – and throw in a few happy dav thoughts, too, since recovering from this hangover will be at least as challenging as recovering from this loss.

have a great week, and go pats.
love dav

Monday, October 1, 2012


hey kids-
the patriots won! we beat the bills yesterday, and i’m not gonna lie: waking up with a win made it a lot easier to face monday this morning.
our fearless quarterback was fired up from the get-go, but it took the rest of the team a little while to catch up. our first half was plagued with butterfingers, botched routes, and a general malaise that was hard to watch. luckily, the boys came back like gangbusters in the second half, and tommy wound up with 340 yards and four touchdowns – including one for which he rushed while i objected loudly. in fact, here he is, looking like he knew everything was firmly in hand all along.

wes welker continued his campaign to get back into my good graces, or to, you know, clinch a new contract or whatever, but it doesn’t seem right to give rob gronkowski his own (shared) feature and then never actually feature him. since both wes and rob infuriated/impressed me in equal measure yesterday, i decided to split the difference and show you both. say what you will about our patriots – we certainly never lack in the eye candy department.

there were so many incredible performances on sunday, this week’s tommy was a tough call. this was only the second game in nfl history to feature two 100-yard rushers, two 100-yard receivers, and a quarterback with more than 300 passing yards. still, when you’re struggling to find your footing, there’s always that one play that turns things around – and i think vince wilfork made it. just before the half, the bills were on the goal line about to score. vince hopped into the fray, forced a fumbled, and came through the pile with the recovery in his arms – sending us into the locker room down 7 instead of 14 and showin the boys how it’s done. every once in a while, we see that one patriot with so much heart, he tries to carry the whole team to victory on his back. lucky, vince has a large enough back to do it! EAT EM VINCE!

we’ve got a big one on sunday, kids. denver always gives us a run for our money – but now they’re helmed by our old arch-nemesis, peyton manning. i always hate losing, but i reallyreallyreally hate losing to peyton manning, or any of the mannings, for that matter. start practicing your happy patriots thoughts now, and hopefully i’ll be this chipper come next monday, too.
have a great week, and go pats!
love dav

Saturday, September 29, 2012


hey kids-
well, the patriots lost again, and while i’m not too happy about it, i’m not too upset about it, either. seeing as how the baltimore ragens literally tried to kill our patriots, i’m just glad everyone made it back home in one piece. plus, i’m pretty sure we’ll getting that winning thing sorted out sooner or later.
i thought our fearless quarterback looked pretty good sunday and moved the ball effectively – and i was glad to a tighter offensive line, especially with all those thuggy ravens running around. still, the boys definitely look like they’re playing with a super bowl hangover, and it’s getting old. alright tommy. time to stop sitting around on your butt and start playing some football.

in other news, you’ll never guess what’s happened! i’m very happy to report that as of sunday night, i heart we. mom says that’s all he gets for now, but i think it’s exciting progress.

heart him or not, wes is totally getting the tommy of the week. while his 142 yards may not have been enough to clinch the win, they were enough to remind all of us what an invaluable asset wes can be. more catching, less kvetching, wes! you’ll have that contract – and my affection back – in no time.

we play buffalo tomorrow, and while they certainly haven’t looked as sharp as they did last year, we can never discount a division rival. if we win, i’ll make the original ww buy shots while i’m in new york, so cheer extra hard for our patriots...and my drunkenness!
have a great night, and go pats!
love dav

Saturday, September 22, 2012


hey kids-
i’m sure you’ve heard by now that the patriots lost. it was a tedious, grueling game that seemed to go on forever and had very few highlights – not unlike the past week.
our fearless quarterback looked as frustrated as i felt on sunday – but even his best efforts couldn’t get our team in sync. all credit to the cardinals defense who sacked tommy four times and blocked a punt – but it was one of those fluky games where you just knew from the early tipped-pass-turned-interception that things were not going to go our way. well, you can’t win em all, tommy. seriously – it makes everybody else really mad when you do.

one week in to his very own (shared) feature, aaron hernandez twisted his ankle and is out for a month. the bad news is that supersucks because aaron hernandez is awesome. the good news is wes has already started playing more to pick up the slack, which gives him more opportunities to restake his claim on my affection and get the i heart wes welker back in the header. in the meantime, here’s poor aaron giving us a last look at his tattoos for a while. is anyone else getting supersick of these patriots writhing-in-pain pictures?

know what else made me supersick this week? the play calling in the last two minutes of this game. i know, i know – blah blah blah holding call, blah blah blah replacement refs. but after the patriots’ final touchdown was reversed, they went uncharacteristically conservative, spiking the ball twice (thrice?) instead of making any effort to get stephen gostkowski a little closer to the uprights. as it went, stephen missed that final field goal, and our pats lost a game they well-deserved to lose. nevertheless, the tommy of the week goes to stephen gostkowski. he missed the last one- but he nailed the first four (including two 50+ -yarders), which is the only thing that even kept us in this game. if anyone else on our team had converted on 80% of their plays, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. thanks for the leg, stephen.  maybe next time, the boys’ll have your back.

we play the ravens tomorrow night, and after that title game last year, they’ll be out for blood. of course i always hope we win, but let’s all practice our happy patriots thoughts that all our boys make it out of the murder capital of america alive. we’re already down an aaron! 
have a great night- and go pats.
love dav

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


hey kids-

happy new year! welcome back to a brand new season of football – and a brand new tommy of the week to go right along with it.  ready? oh yeah. let’s do it!

i know i’m not the only one who was happy to see our fearless quarterback back in fighting form on sunday, and fight he did, with a little blood to show for it! tommy put up a respectable 236 yards and two touchdowns against the titans, and while there’s plenty i could say about it, i’m just so damned happy to see him. i’m sure you were, too, so let’s just look at him. yeahhhhhh. that’s the stuff.

if you recall, i wasn’t hearting wes welker so much at the end of last season... and then he spent the summer mouthing off about his contract as if he didn’t drop any super bowl passes and otherwise behaving in a generally douchey fashion. so, while i reserve the right to change my mind (and almost did dreamy sigh the single time he was on tv sunday), i no longer heart wes welker. luckily, we have plenty of eye candy on our team, and our tight end tandem is ready to deliver a hell of a lot more than dreamy sighs. and now, for your viewing pleasure, i happily present the brand new t&a – a weekly celebrations of tight end tats and abs. here’s your first glimpse of the boys in their brand new feature, posing as if they knew i’d need a photo just like this one. thanks guys – looking forward to seeing a lot (eh-hem) more of both of you!

there were lots of reasons to get excited about the patriots sunday- from a trio of promising rookies reinvigorating our defense to a looked-over-the-wrong-shoulder miss by lloyd that proves he already knows the offense better than ochocinco ever did. still, the season’s first tommy of the week goes to stevan ridley. i was very sad to say goodbye to benjarvusgreenellis both because i loved him and because i wasn’t sure ridley could carry the load all on his own. yesterday, he took his chance to shine and ran with it – literally – racking up a career high 125 yards and proving me (quite happily) wrong. congrats stevan! one down, 15 to go, kiddo! 

we play arizona on sunday, and did i mention i’m so freaking happy there’s football? you know i’m even happier when we win, so practice your happy patriots thought and have a great week. 

go pats! hurray football! GO PATRIOTS!!!!!

love dav

Wednesday, May 2, 2012


hey kids-
well, the patriots lost the super bowl. three months later, it still sucks to say that, but i think i’m ready to let it go.
i took this loss way too personally, even though i know it had nothing to do with me. after four years of un/underemployment and working my ass off to keep my head above water, watching mediocrity and momentum triumph over teamsmanship, talent, and good old fashioned hard work felt an awful lot like a statement about the way america operates. still, as bill belichick would say, it is what is it. come september, the george w. bush of football will go back to playing the same way he has since his daddy threw a fit on draft day and pulled strings for that plum job in new york, and tom brady will go back to playing like one of the best quarterbacks the game has ever seen. at least there’s that.
speaking of our fearless quarterback, he broke yet another record during this super bowl, throwing 16 consecutive completed passes in the third quarter. maybe that should make me feel better, but it’s cold comfort – as is knowing he looked like this while i was crying under the couch.

in i heart wes welker news, i do, in spite of a downright lackluster game and several dropped passes that are old news by now. it’s more concerning that this is the second super bowl in which the team has appeared with wes on the roster – and the second we’ve lost! still, the pats put the franchise tag on wes, so it looks like i’ll be hearting him for at least another season. i’m not feeling it so much right now, but something tells me i’ll come around. this will help.

i’m not sadistic enough to rewatch this game, and the box score backs up no memorable stand-out performance to claim the final totw of the season. it doesn’t seem right to award the tommy of the super bowl to its namesake by default, and i won’t. some time around march, mom bumped into another pats fan in portland and asked him if he was still heartbroken. she said he just shrugged and said, “nah. roll on, tommy!” the great thing about being a patriots fan, even with a broken heart, is knowing he will. so the final tommy of the season is awarded to tom brady – for rolling into the fifth super bowl of his career with one of the worst defenses in the nfl – and for playing with the leadership, competitiveness, and general roguish charm that defines him right down to the last second. it;s been one hell of a ride, tommy. roll on.

and that caps off 2011, kids. the good thing about a stupidly-late final tommy of the season is that you only have to wait four more months for your next one! that also gives you lots of time to practice your happy patriots thoughts. see ya in september – and go pats!
love dav

Saturday, February 4, 2012


well kids-
it’s super bowl eve, and i’ve got way more butterflies than i did on christmas eve – and way more cautious optimism than i did on new year’s eve. let’s get this show on the road!
our patriots play the new york giants in the super bowl tomorrow afternoon, and i took a long time to get excited about it. the giants are like that lazy coworker who turns in half-assed work and gossips with the receptionist all day – then snow the boss with an unwittingly smart comment at just the right time and becomes the golden boy. they were an insulting opponent the first time around, and at 9-7 this season, i’m equally unimpressed. that said, our pats can literally take responsibility for the giants’ above-500 record and subsequent wild-card berth, so we made own bed. on the plus side, lying in it gives us the chance to f*** the giants.
i finally did start to get excited about this game on media day, and it was watching our fearless quarterback get excited that roped me in. you’d think by the fifth time around, some of the shine might’ve worn off the super bowl media circus, but tommy showed up with his camera in hand. here he is snapping pics right back at the photogs. seriously – how could anybody hate tom brady?

this week’s i heart wes welker comes to you live from lucas field, where my inside source hooked me up with this up-close photo from media day. aside from thanks again, b, all i can say is – look at those muscles! gronk’s abs have nothing on wes’ biceps. i hope his fiancee doesn’t mind how much i heart them!

the tommy of the super bye is going to tom brady, but certainly not by default. in addition to breaking numerous records and taking our team to a 13-3 record with the league’s second-worst defense, our fearless quarterback is playing in his fifth career super bowl – tying yet another record. i remember perching atop my futon couch in my manhattan apartment during that first one, and it’s crazy to think i’ve gotten to do that five times in the last 10 years...though admittedly, i’ve sometimes been under the futon! we truly are the luckiest fans in the nfl, and tommy not only deserves the tommy of the super bye, but also my infinite gratitude. sometimes, practice does make perfect.

anyone who was around for the last one knows i can’t take another “giant” loss – so i hope you’ve all been practicing your happy patriots thoughts over the last two weeks. if you stay up all night to make sure we have enough, say hi. i’ll be up.
i can’t believe i get to say this to you for the 21st time this season - but have a great night and GO PATS!
love dav

Sunday, January 29, 2012


well kids, we’re going to the super bowl.
from the totw archives, 10/18/10: you can't blame the baltimore ravens for hating the patriots. every year, it looks like they're going to beat us, and every year, we snatch the victory from their hands right at the last second. this sunday was no exception...with yet another improbably win. sucks to be a raven. 
now let’s hope that’s the last bit of history repeating we see this season!
it was a nerve-wracking, nail-biting, turn-my-back-on-the-tv-and-pray kinda game against the ravens last sunday, and it took a lot of perseverance and a little luck for our patriots to squeak by with the win. still, squeak we did – and now we’re going to indy. who’da thunk?
there’s something about the ravens that sets tommy off-kilter, and our fearless quarterback barely mustered 239 yards – with two interceptions and no touchdowns. the only consolation in watching tommy struggle is knowing that he’s even more frustrated by it than i am. at least he always gets fired up and gets in the ravens’ faces. ray lewis really should know better.

in i heart wes welker news, wes got engaged this week! since he still has that stupid mustache, i’m not that bummed – though i’d rest more easily knowing the super bowl had his undivided attention. besides, i suspect tommy’s more jealous than i am!

it was our defense that kept us in this game against the ravens, and that’s where i’m headed with this week’s totw. but first, honorable mention goes to stephen gostkowski. most of us were disappointed to “walk away with a field goal” on several drives during this game...but given cardiff’s miss and our winning margin, stephen’s perfection (3/3 FG) should be both noted and commended. nevertheless, this week’s tommy is going to sterling moore. i know he just got it a few weeks ago, i know he’s rookie, and i know there were other cases to be made...but if not for moore’s push-out of evan’s touchdown reception very late in the fourth, we’d have been eating crow instead of raven. sterling indeed.

we play the giants in the super bowl next sunday, and i’ll have more on that in the tommy of the bye. in the meantime, our pats leave for indy today, so think your happy patriots thoughts in full force. look how effectively that worked last weekend!
have a great week, and go pats!
love dav