Monday, December 28, 2015


hey kids-
well, the patriots lost to the jets, and i’m not really that fussed about it. our boys looked like most of us do heading back to work after the holiday – easing in at about 70%, taking it easy, shaking off the cookie coma. with all the injuries, our team only looked about 70% staffed, and if i’m honest, i only cheered with about 70% enthusiasm, too.
our fearless quarterback looked much less frustrated that you’d imagine, considering the majority of his offensive weapons were kickin it in boston with leftover turkey. all in all, tommy went 22 of 31 for 231 yards and one annoying interception – but even that was only about 70% annoying. considering it was a pretty crummy performance, i didn’t really care that much. looks like he didn’t, either.

most of this game was long and boring, which seems to be status quo for our divisional matchups this year, and there weren’t many stand out performances to note. our defense did extend their scoring streak to two games – which I hope means they’ve decided to start a trend. since jamie collins recovered the fumble for a touchdown and was the leading tackler this week, he’s getting the tommy. sorry i’m only 70% excited about it, jamie! i’m 100% glad you’re back.

we play miami in miami on sunday, and i just this second realized it won’t be december anymore! that’s awesome news, since we often lose to miami in miami in december. after last sunday’s grind, think your happy patriots thought that this game is more entertaining, that we end the season and start the new year a win, and that we finally get a much needed julian fix. (just like one catch. c’mon jules. you know you want to.) i know that’s a lot to ask of your patriots thoughts, but i have faith! don’t let me down.
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Monday, December 21, 2015


tis the week before christmas, and that means it’s time
that i set your tommy to meter and rhyme.
i hope that my recap delights and enlightens-
now let’s get down to business on pats versus titans.

it was warmish in foxb’ro when the pats took the field
as they came to deliver our christmas gift sealed.
with the girls dressed like santa, as cute as could be
(and i sure hope that outfit is under my tree!)

our QB looked fearless, although he was sick,
he threw two perfect touchdowns – and nary a pick.
he hit gronk! he hit white! tennessee looked like fools!
then he laughed as he said “we don’t even have jules!”

our offense looked solid, they allayed all our fears
with a new band of running back three musketeers.
and the defense looked fierce! every guy got his quota
bringing big hits and sacks til they broke mariota!

there are so many pats who get hon’rable mention-
chandler jones and j-collins both merit attention,
and don’t forget keyshawn’s amazing return,
or butler’s great pick on a sweet douglas burn.

but there’s only one winner (there ought to be five)
and i’m choosing the guy with the good sense to dive.
first a strip sack! a fumble! and then bouncing galore!
then, the first time all season – a defensive score!

it’s that new guy! we just learned his number last game
and this week it looks like we’re learning his name.
akiem hicks – we’re so happy your trade didn’t trouble you
and i’m pleased to present you the TOTW.

we’re in new york next weekend, with the jets looking mean
but our boys need the win as we leave week sixteen.
you recall those two losses we’ll have to offset
for a postseason road that goes right through gillette.

plus i really hate losing – so you know what to do
come on, patriots people, i’m talking to you!
think your patriots thoughts! wear your patriots hats!
happy christmas to all – and to all, YAY GO PATS!

love dav

Friday, December 18, 2015


hey kids-
well, after back-to-back losses, our patriots are back on track- and so am i with your tommies. the first loss (WEEK TWELVE @ DENVER BRONCOS L 30-24) was a heartbreaker and I couldn’t stomach looking at game photos, and the second (WEEK THIRTEEN VS. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES L 35-28)  was a comedy of errors – but i was busy moving into my own place (hurray) and writing for people who pay me (hurray hurray). that brings us to this week’s win against the houstons. let’s do it!
i knew things were going to be alright when i saw tommy warming up pregame – with his ferocious face firmly in place. we never lose when he pulls out the ferocious face! our fearless quarterback wound 22 of 30 for 226 yards and two touchdowns – one to his barely gone but sorely missed buddy, rob gronkowski. between the face and the gronk, this one was in the bag.

the hits just keep on coming, with blount and easley both leaving this game with season-ending injuries. thankfully, plenty of guys stepped up to fill in the holes – particularly jabaal sheard and akiem hicks on defense, each with two sacks. gronk racked up 87 yards and little white rushed for another touchdown, but this week’s tommy is going to tommy. it’s been a rough couple of weeks, but our tommy keeps finding ways to keep us afloat – even acting as a running back and receiver for our depleted offense. leadership, competitiveness, and general roguish charm win the day! here he is, explaining to the refs that we’re going to win this one, no matter how many calls they decide to reverse.

we clinched a playoff spot with this win – and with julian edelman running around in practice again (hurray hurray hurray!!!!), our future is looking more promising than our present. we’ve got tennessee on sunday and i’ve got high hopes, so think your happy patriots thoughts! I’ll be back with the holiday edition of the tommy sooner than later – promise!
have a great weekend, and go pats!

love dav

Tuesday, November 24, 2015


hey kids-
i should’ve written this last night. after our win against the bills, i was as fired up as our fearless quarterback was on the sidelines – and not because of our victory. two words: inadvertent whistle.  holy mother of infuriation.
this was one of those knock down, drag out divisional slugfests, and our fearless quarterback had his work cut out for him this week. between injuries to the receivers and the offensive line, a relentlessly blitzing buffalo defense,  and you know, the odd inadvertent whistle, it seems like a blessing that tommy wound up 20 of 39 for 277 yards and a touchdown. I know most of it wasn’t his fault, but he looked pretty off balance all night. i know the feeling, tommy.

while our offense is being held together with duct tape and paperclips (not unlike my life), our defense is looking strong and healthy. it was nice to see jerod mayo stepping up like the leader he is and also nice to see james white stepping in for both lewis and edelman – scoring touchdowns as each. what was NOT nice was watching stephen gostkowski miss his first field goal of the season, into the wind from 54 yards. and it alllllll started with the inadvertent whistle.  with miles and miles of open field ahead of him, danny amendola made an awesome catch and took off – only to have it called back because the ref accidentally blew the whistle (probably at rex ryan, who was having some kind of fit along the sideline).  the drive stalled out, stephen missed, and i’ve never been more angry after a win in my whole life. danny must’ve been pretty angry too – he came right back out to pull down a 41 yard pass that set up white for his second touchdown. amendola wound up with 117 yards and a sprained knee that he’s totally gonna bandage up and play through – and for both, he gets this week’s tommy. run, danny, run!

we play denver on sunday night, and it’s going to be a super weird game, kids. peyton isn’t playing, but you can bet the denver defense will be – and i can think of anywhere tommy plays worse football than mile high. i hope our blossoming defense is ready to pick, because tommy’s gonna need all the help he can get. know what goes great with turkey? happy patriots thoughts! better start prepping them now!
have a happy thanksgiving, and go pats!

love dav

Sunday, November 15, 2015


well kids-

dad was way more righter than i was, and i couldn’t be happier about it. while the giants were in fact our toughest test of the season thus far, dad predicted we’d beat them. i’m not exactly sure “beat” is the right word – it was more like “skirted” or “slinked past,” but the W looks the same.

our fearless quarterback  went 26 for 42 with two touchdowns and one interception, but he was on target when it matter. brady threw over 200 of those yards in the fourth quarter – including one amazing 76 yard pass that was all gronk. it wasn’t tommy’s best, but if you can run out of met life (and you should always run out of jersey) with a win, it’s best not to complain.

i fall a little more in love with malcolm butler every week, and it was super fun to watch him get all fired up (awesomely) defending beckham, jr. gronk also had another huge game, amendola looked awesome, and julian edelman got broken but we’re not going to talk about it because it’s sad and he’s going to be back by the playoffs.  it’s nice to see so many consistently-solid performances, but the king of consistently-solid performances is stephen gostkowski, and he gets this week's tommy. stephen has yet to miss a kick this year and nailed his 35th consecutive field goal with his game-winning 54 yarder. I think i was wayyyyyy more excited about it than he was.

we play buffalo next monday night, kids, and I have no doubt we’ll have completely adjusted our game plan to make it work without julian, but i’m still gonna be sad about it. i’m also gonna be sad if we lose to rex ryan, so think lots of happy patriots thought this week. it would be awesome to start thanksgiving week making turkeys out of the bills.

have a great week and go pats!

love dav

Sunday, November 8, 2015


hey kids-
who knew moving day would be the least stressful part of moving? after dramadramadrama, delaydelaydelay, and one very dark and stormy Halloween night, i never thought i’d be so relieved to finally be in portland! 
last week our pats beat the dolphins, and I’m sorry I missed telling you all about it, because it was a fun game (and a very fun last drunken night in san diego). here’s the short version: our fearless quarterback went 28 of 38 for 356 yards and four touchdowns – and he gets last week’s tommy. yay patriots.

in more relevant football news, our fearless quarterback had a slightly less spectacular outing against the redskins. he went 26 of 39 for 299 yards and two touchdowns – but also threw his first real and second statistical interception (though he did tackle the guy who made the pick to prevent the touchdown). i’m not loving it, but it could be worse. ask green bay.

it was actually a pretty sloppy game with plenty of turnovers on both sides, but there were a few highlights. brandon bolden replaced an injured lewis to get his first career touchdown, logan ryan pulled down an interception, and steven gostkowski continued his consecutive field goal streak. while it was fun watching blount bulldoze his way to a career high 129 yards, this week’s tommy is going to chandler jones. just past the midway marker, jones leads the NFL in sacks with 9.5 and is just two away from his career high. with an offense that’s possibly slowing a little and is definitely getting depleted by injury, we’re going to need big plays from our defense. something tells me jones is ready to lead the way.

fun fact of the week: every time tommy’s had the nfc east on his schedule, he’s gone to the super bowl. we play what will probably be our toughest nfc challenger on the sunday – and given our track record against the giants, it may also be our toughest game thus far this season. think your happy patriots thoughts super hard this week. brian will be intolerable if we lose.
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Sunday, October 25, 2015


hey kids-
the patriots beat the jets.
that’s good enough for me! have a great week – and go pats!
just kidding! it would be a terrible shame if i didn’t fill you in on our fearless quarterback and his bazillionth fourth quarter comeback of his career – which, for the record, was just as exciting as the first. tommy got off to another slow start, but he wound up 34 for 54 and two touchdowns – along with four carries for 15 yards and one touchdown. apparently he decided to fill in for dion lewis himself. too bad he couldn’t fill in for our receivers – after 10 dropped passes, you know he was thinking about it. if this shot’s any indication, the patriots are lucky tommy even lets anyone else touch the ball. think he looks at gisele like this?

while the rest of our receivers were playing dropsies, danny amedola had another freaking awesome game this week, and it was nice to see he didn’t rest on his laurels after getting last week’s tommy. malcolm butler also looked pretty sharp, and of course, tommy’s fourth quarter performance literally epitomized the leadership, competitiveness and general roguish charm the totw celebrates...but I’m giving this one to rob ninkovich. i’m seriously shocked that he didn’t have like six interceptions, because almost every time fitzpatrick threw the ball, rob got a hand on it. don’t worry, rob, butterfingers were going around today. at least it’s not actually your job to catch it!

we have a quick turnaround this week with miami on thursday night, so you’ll need to concentrate your happy patriots thoughts into just four days. start now.
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Monday, October 19, 2015


hey kids-
it’s moving day tomorrow – yes, AGAIN – so lets do this. it was a way more exciting game than anyone anticipated, but our patriots pulled out a victory against the colts. i was surrounded by annoying people last night who kept saying things like “i need gronk to get 167 yards!” or “the patriots better beat the spread,” to which i replied, deadpan, “i need the patriots to win by one." there was only one happy person in town last night, and it was me. what are you gonna do without me, san diego?
our fearless quarterback went 23 for 37, with 312 yards and three lovely touchdowns. sadly, he also suffered his first interception of the season when brokenfingered julian edelman bobbled a pass that went haywire and got picked off. i bet julian’s more upset about it than i am, and i’m pretty freaking upset. nevertheless, this is the part about tommy, not julian, so let’s look at him. that’s pretty much how I felt about the whole thing, too, tommy.
i wish all the people who wanted to give away my totw last week would tell me who to give it to this week, because i really don’t know. i liked jamie collins’ blocked punt (onside kick - is that still a punt? i think so...) move, but he missed a ton of tackles last night and i’m loathe to give a totw to a defense that gave up 27 points to andrew luck. i think that might be more than he’s scored cumulatively all season. mccourty had a really solid game and several near-interceptions, but again, 27 points to the colts! amendola had a surprisingly big game with 105 yards – and that might be more than he’s accumulated all season, so let’s give it to him. i can’t find one single danny amendola photo from last night...which kind of makes me rethink my decision. i think maybe i’m supposed to be giving this to lagarrette blount. oh wait – here we go. run, danny, run!

i’m tired of writing this now and want to have a glass of wine and watch the good wife before the big day tomorrow, so pretend i said something clever about the facing the jets on sunday.
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Sunday, October 11, 2015


hey kids-
so, the patriots beat the cowboys...and while i’m never going to argue with a win, this was one a lot less satisfying than I was anticipating considering i had to wait two weeks for it. i’m a little worried the dude at my bar who called me a greedy fan may have been right.
our fearless quarterback had a solid game after a slow start, going 20 of 27 for 275 yards and two touchdowns. much of this game felt like a flashback to last season’s long and slow and boring, so trust me when i say it looks a lot better on paper than it did in real life. luckily, winning looks a lot better in real life, and so does tommy – especially when he’s all fired up after a quarterback sneak for six. you spike that ball like you’re part gronk, tommy.

i was temped to give the tommy of the week to stephen gostkowski for not only nailing a 57 yard field goal, but for slicing every single point-after-touchdown kick right through the middle like it’s, you know, his job. apparently the rule change has created a lot of stress for kickers all across america except the ones who live in new england. however, stephen will have to continue to be consistently awesome, because julian edelman snatched this week’s tommy right of out the air along with his 59 yard bob-n-weave touchdown catch. i hear julian is getting quite a reputation for making girls scream, and I am now case in point. that play was easily the high point of this game. thanks for the oh-oh-oh, julian!

we play the colts next sunday, and i’m not gonna lie: i’m hoping for a bloodbath. after a summer of deflagate ridiculousness, i hope tommy comes on like gangbusters and shows the NFL what it really means to beat a dead horse. man- that dude at my bar was TOTALLY right. i AM a greedy fan. whatever. glue sticks for everyone!
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Sunday, September 27, 2015


hey kids-
well, i started this week with no opinion about the jaguars, but i definitely have one now. i LOVE the jaguars. they might be my favorite team we’ve ever played, and i think we should play them every week! yup. it was that kind of game, and if i were writing this tomorrow instead of today, i’d have the hangover to prove it! 
our fearless quarterback is looking super sharp and went 33 for 42 and 358 yards. he also had two touchdown passes – the first of which marked yet another milestone – making brady the fourth player in history with 400 touchdown passes. seriously kids, how lucky are we? tommy celebrated in his typically understated style, but don’t worry. i screamed more than enough for the both of us.

there’s an obvious choice for this week’s tommy, but there are few honorable mentions before we get to that. i’m super hearting our receivers who already look to be in mid-season form, but my favorite play of this game was made by a defensive player i sadly can’t even name. jacksonville’s quarterback (who I also sadly cannot name) made a sideline pass that was caught, but our defender tackled the receiver midair and carried him out of bounds before he could get both feet down. it was holy freaking hilarious and maybe the best defensive strategy ever, aside from actually interfering with the ball. nevertheless, lagarrette blount is getting this week’s tommy. little lewis has been holding down the fort admirably, but it’s nice to see blount and with three touchdowns and in fighting form – since we have just about as few people who know how to carry the ball as we do who know how to catch it! nice work, lagarrette!

as we head into our ridiculously early bye, our team is looking pretty freaking amazing, and I’m hoping the break won’t stall our momentum. we play the gimpy cowboys when we get back, so think your happy patriots thoughts a) that belichick works his usual bye week magic and b) that neither of their backups break out between now and then (sorry jovan!).
have a great week and then a great week after that – and go pats!

love dav

Sunday, September 20, 2015


hey kids-
well, it was a little nail-bitey-er than necessary, but our patriots pulled out a win in buffalo. the bills were as douchey as expected under the leadership of rex ryan, but our boys rewarded them with an at home divisional loss. trust me. they had it coming.  
bills fans had been chanting “we want brady,” and boy did they ever get him. our fearless quarterback went 38 for 59 with a whopping 466 yards and three touchdowns. after the vengeance tommy wreaked on the field, i’m guessing the bills are wishing he hadn’t suited up.  after looking at this picture, i almost wish he hadn’t, too!

considering i was worried we didn’t have enough people on our team who knew how to catch the ball, our receivers are kicking ass. edelman pulled down two touchdowns, gronk picked up another one, and dobson looks like he’s finally coming into his own. our D made some great plays, too – including an astounding eight sacks and three interceptions. (in a non rex ryan world, i feel sorry for taylor.) one of those came from super bowl hero malcolm butler, and he’s getting this week’s tommy. he talked in the off season about continuing to grow – and how one great play isn’t enough. he put his money where his mouth was this week this week, making picks and tackles and showing how hard he’s working to grow into his reputation. that’s a real patriots hero, malcolm! way to do your job.

we face the jaguars at home on sunday, and they’re one of the few teams about which i have no opinion, mostly because they’re one the few team about which i know nothing. i do know that i’d like very much to win, so think your happy patriots thoughts. i’m sure i’ll have an opinion on the jags this time next week – i’ll fill you in then!
have a great week, and GO PATS!

love dav

Sunday, September 13, 2015


hey kids-
football’s back – and that means so is your tommy of the week. it was a relief in many ways to see tommy back on the field on thursday night – especially looking like the four time super bowl winning fearless quarterback we know and love. ready to get started on the road to number five? let’s go.
our fearless quarterback came ready to play, going 25 of 32 for 288 yards and four touchdown. tommy was as fired up to be out there as I was to see him. thank god it’s football.

it was a banner night for all our boys (yes, I totally just said that. suck it america- we won the super bowl!), with plenty of glad-to-be-back performances. gronk stole the show with his three TDs and amendola and edelman stole my heart with their dreamy smiles, and there were some great plays on both sides of the ball – but if you think anyone is getting this week’s tommy other than its namesake, you’re cracked. (spoiler alert: it’s possible tom brady will get the tommy of the week for the next 16 weeks – a new TOTW record!) leadership? check. competitiveness? check. general roguish charm? check. plus, this face conveys exactly the way I feel about the nfl these days...and bodes very, very well for patriots fans. thanks for pissing him off, america!

we head to buffalo on sunday, and I’m strangely conflicted. i generally like buffalo more than most teams we play, but I generally hate rex ryan more than most humans on earth. let’s hope he pulls his regular rex ryan ridiculousness and says something that infuriates our boys in blue. cause, you know, we could use a little motivation.
think your happy patriots thoughts and have a great week. GO PATS!

love dav

Sunday, February 15, 2015


hey kids-


remember this?:

(from the TOTW 9/8/14) WEEK ONE @ MIAMI DOLPHINS L 33_20
so the good news is that tommy’s in last place and you know he’s pissed off about it, which can only be good for us. the even gooder news is that the last time we lost the season opener, we won the super bowl. 

well kids, everyone who laughed at me when i said that can suck it because it happened again. our patriots won the super bowl in a game for the ages. this one had high and lows, ups and downs, drama and intrigue, and ultimately one great big patriots win. let’s dive in!

tommy had his ferocious face on from the second he took the field, and he never let up. in spite of two interceptions, our fearless quarterback wound up 37 for 50 with 328 yards and four touchdowns – two of which were thrown in the  fourth quarter.  tommy’s pulled off the fourth quarter comeback so many times now, none of us should be surprised that he played one his most perfect quarters of football when it mattered most – going 13 for 15 with 124 yards and two those beautiful two touchdown passes. here he is, showing off all the leadership, competitiveness, and general roguish charm it takes to be a four time super bowl winning quarterback – and making it look easy.

but wait! there’s more! here he is, actually WINNING the super bowl.

and here he is, looking just like that kid who stole our hearts 14 years ago. what  a love story this has turned out to be, tommy.

of course, there were a whole bunch of other patriots at super bowl 49 beside tom brady, and they played their little patriots hearts out. gronk, amendola, and edelman all had touchdown receptions, and julian made a strong case for mvp with 109 yards and nine catches. revis and chandler jones both sacked russell wilson, and our little ryan allen set a new record for the longest punt in a super bowl. still, this game came right down to the last minute, literally, and i’d say it took a miracle – but really it took one little patriot who took “do your job” to heart – and he’s getting the tommy of the week. i’m not going to lie –  as seattle began marching down the field with two minutes left, i couldn’t watch. i had my head firmly planted against the chest of the poor guy who happened to sit next to me and was compulsively texting the same thing to mom and lil sis over and over and over:

thank god bill belichick believed in my defense, too. instead of calling a timeout, he let the clock tick down as seattle executed the now-infamous “worst play call in history,” a pass that sailed right into the waiting arms of malcolm butler. our little rookie cornerback had already defended three passes – more than anyone else on defense – and had just given up a huge gain on another miracle catch that had patriots fans crawling underneath bars across america. luckily, the little rookie didn’t let it get him down. he got right back out there, applied the lessons he’d learned in practice, and jumped the route to pick off wilson and clinch the game. i agree that tommy is the super bowl mvp, but malcolm butler gets the tommy of the week. here he is, making the season’s most spectacular interception (which i finally saw on about the third replay when the guy next to me picked me up off the floor and made me watch).

and as usual, tommy’s face looked exactly like mine:

say what you will about carroll, wilson, and the bad play call – but if the “legendary” seattle defense hadn’t let tom brady score 14 points in six minutes to take the lead in the fourth quarter, it really wouldn’t have mattered. but in the end, tom brady DID score 14 points in six minutes, the play call DID matter, and the patriots DID win the super bowl. i will never get tired of saying that.


it’s a little bittersweet to write this totw – and it’s taken me so long because i’m not quite ready to say goodbye to this season. this was our year kids, and from that terrible day in kansas city to that awesome high against denver to that frigid night at gillette stadium to this glorious sunday in arizona, what a year it turned out to be. the good news is that THE PATRIOTS WON THE SUPER BOWL!!!! the even gooder news is that the last time the patriots lost their season opener and won the super bowl, they came right back the next year to win another one.

are you ready? see you in september.


love dav.

Saturday, January 31, 2015


hey kids-
welcome to the totw bubble! perfectly inflated to 12.5 psi, this is a scandal free zone where i get to say stuff like HOLY CRAP KIDS! WE’RE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL and actually be excited about it.
in all the aftermath, it’s easy to forget just how awesome the AFC championship game was for our patriots – and hot damn, was it awesome! our fearless quarterback led the charge, going 23 for 35 with 226 yards and three touchdowns, along with that now infamous interception. whatever. WE’RE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! here’s tommy, looking just like a quarterback ON HIS WAY TO THE SUPER BOWL! i think he nailed it, but he has had a lot of practice!

know who doesn’t have any practice looking like he’s ON THE WAY TO THE SUPER BOWL? legarrette blount – but boy oh boy did he play like does. blount powered through the colts to the tune of 148 yards and three touchdowns, bulldozing our patriots’ way into the big game. when our patriots win 45-7, you can bet there were a lot of stellar performances, but blount’s was good enough for this week’s tommy of the week. let’s add a ring to that bling, LG!

the big game is tomorrow, kids! OUR PATRIOTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL and i haven’t had that sinking feeling i got when we played the giants – which i’m taking as a good sign. in fact, i’m feeling calm and excited in a completely nonjinxing or chicken counting kind of way. that said, i don’t think i can take losing another one, so pull out all the stops and think your happy patriots thoughts like you’ve never thought them before! you shouldn’t be surprised to hear i plan to be drunk tomorrow night, but hopefully i’ll be back early next week with your final totw of the season – and all the highlights of OUR PATRIOTS IN THE SUPER BOWL!
have a great saturday, and go pats!
oh yeah, say it with me now: Go Pats!
one more time – with feeling! GO PATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love dav

Friday, January 16, 2015


live from gillette stadium- it’s saturday night! featuring tom brady! julian edelman! vince wilfork! the gronk! jamie collins! danny amendola! and your host, dav!
hey kids-
it was a nailbiter against the ravens, and I have the bitten nails to prove it! thankfully all that drama kept the crowd on its feet and me from freezing to death during my very first visit to gillette stadium!  i’m not gonna lie – i almost froze to death, but it was SO TOTALLY WORTH IT.
our fearless quarterback looks even more fearless in person...or maybe that was just the insane mad dash into the end zone RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE while i sat in the third row on the 30 yard line. happily for me, that was just the beginning of tommy’s terrific performance – which ended with three and a half passing touchdowns and one rushing touchdown – along with 365 yards. here he is, being tom brady RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. check it out, kids! I totally took my own totw picture!

it was a rollcoaster ride of a game, but our patriots fought hard to make sure my first trip to gillette ended victoriously. jamie collins got several steps closer to being my favorite defensive player ever, gronk put on a big (and surprisingly lumbering in person) show,  and danny amendola played like he knew i came to see him. our patriots even pulled out all the stops with a still-makes-me-giddy trick play – an oh-so-pretty flea flicker from tommy to julian to danny RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. serious dav porn. i’m just saying. i couldn’t have asked for a more incredible game, and i couldn’t be more excited to give this week’s tommy of the week to its namesake. down by two touchdowns twice, tommy put the patriots on his fearless quarterback shoulders, showing his leadership, competiveness, and general roguish charm RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. what a game! what a win! what a cute butt! thanks for a great night, tommy!

we play the colts on sunday kids, and i’m still too excited to be super nervous – though the butterflies are starting to set in. my happy patriots thoughts have been irrepressible this week, so add yours to the mix,  and let’s show those colts we don’t need luck when we’ve got tom brady. did i mention he was RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. holy crap that was amazing.
have a great weekend, and go pats!
love dav


Saturday, January 3, 2015


hey kids-
happy new year, and welcome to the first ever totw two-fer! with holiday travel and holiday drinking, i missed a recap – so we’re doing double duty this week. let’s two it!
our fearless quarterback certainly didn’t deliver his best showings at the end of this season, though he did only play for half of the final game. still, with 182 yards and one touchdown against the jets and 80 yards and no touchdowns against the bills, tommy ended 2014 with a fizzle. it wasn’t exactly what I was hoping to see before heading into the playoffs, but I’m told he’s saving the bang for 2015, so I’m okay with it.

while our offense was spluttering and resting up for playoffs, the rest of our team continued to play hard and keep us in games. the win against the jets was ugly and by the skin of our teeth, and it wouldn’t have been likely without danny amendola’s 90 yards in kick returns. danny’s been around long enough to know how much i hate losing to the jets – and how much i wish i could heart him without him becoming a douche or going to prison – so i’m taking all the effort personally. I’m going to go ahead and award him the tommy of the week and hope for the best. don’t become a douche, danny!

against the bills, jamie collins recovered a fumble he forced in the first place. the awesomest part was that jamie actually went to make a tackle and missed, falling on the ground – only to get back up, try again, and force the fumble. that’s the kind of effort that gives me hope heading into the playoffs – and gives jamie the final totw of the season.

in BREAKING NEWS, we interrupt this regularly scheduled if wildly overdue tommy of the week to bring you this important announcement: I’M GOING TO THE PATRIOTS DIVISIONAL PLAYOFF GAME! woo hoo! it’ll be my first time at gillette and my first playoff game, so think your happy patriots thoughts extra extra hard that we win! a loss would not only mean the end of season, but it would also mean a lot of staring at the girl crying on the train all the way back to new york city.
have a great week, and go pats!

love dav