Sunday, December 23, 2018

WEEK SIXTEEN VS. BUFFALO BILLS W 24-12


TWAS TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
AND SPIRITS WERE LOW
SINCE OUR PATRIOTS’ WINS
WERE ELUSIVE AS SNOW

WITH A LOSS TO THE STEELERS
PLUS THAT JINX IN MIAMI
IT SURE FELT LIKE OUR BOYS
HAD BEEN HIT WITH A WHAMMY

STILL WE SHOWED UP ON SUNDAY
AND DIDN’T PLAY HOOKY
BUT THANKED GOD WE WERE FACING
THAT BUFFALO ROOKIE

NOW WE DIDN’T NEED MAGIC
WE DIDN’T NEED FRILLS
WE JUST NEEDED A WIN
IN THIS BATTLE OF BILLS

OH BUT HOW WOULD WE GET IT
WITH A QB SO OLD
AND HIS HAND ALL WEIGHED DOWN
WITH THOSE FIVE RINGS OF GOLD?

TOMMY DIDN’T LOOK GREAT
SANTA DOESN’T LIKE LIES
HE HIT ONLY THIRTEEN
OF HIS TWENTY-FOUR TRIES

WHEN IT CAME TO HIS YARDS
HE THREW ONE-TWENTY-SIX
AND JUST ONE LONELY TOUCHDOWN
ALONG WITH TWO PICKS


SO IT SEEMED THAT OUR PASS GAME
MIGHT NEED SOME ASSISTANCE
WITH GRONK ALL BANGED UP
AND JOSH NOT IN EXISTENCE

AND THEN OUT OF THE BACKFIELD
CAME SONY MICHEL
RUSHING ONE-SIXTEEN YARDS
LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL

NOW IT WASN’T JUST SONY
LET US NOT FORGET REX,
CORDARRELLE, AND JAMES WHITE
WHO ALL HELPED BREAK THE HEX

BUT THE DAY WAS MICHEL’S
AND OUR NEW FAVORITE RUNNER
EARNED THE TOT-DUB
IN A RUSHING GAME STUNNER


IT’S THE STRANGEST OF SEASONS
BUT IT SEEMS THERE’S STILL HOPE
THAT THIS PATRIOTS TEAM
HASN’T RUN OUT OF ROPE

AND IN FACT THERE’S A TWO SEED
THAT’S STILL WITHIN GRASP
JUST AS LONG AS WE SMOTHER
THE JETS’ ONE LAST GASP

THOUGH MY CONFIDENCE LAGS
AND MY FAITH, TOO, HAS WAVERED
IT STILL MAY BE OKAY
WE’RE NOT SUPER BOWL FAVORED

OUR PATS MAY SURPRISE US
LET’S BE OF GOOD CHEER
IF OUR CHEMISTRY SYNCS
IT COULD STILL BE OUR YEAR

BUT NO MATTER THE WINS
OR THE LOSSES WE HAVE
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
AND GO PATS (YAY) LOVE DAV



Tuesday, December 4, 2018

WEEK THIRTEEN VS. MINNESOTA VIKINGS W 24-10


well kids- 

i forgot to tell you the patriots got embarrassed by the titans and i was too busy to tell you they beat the jets - but i'm happy to report their winning streak has resumed with a victory over minnesota. 

our fearless quarterback looked pretty solid aside from an interception that was really and truly an interception, but at least he earned this one! he wound up 24 of 32 for 311 yards and a touchdown - and that was just in his quarterbacking duties!


that's right, kids! after 18 seasons, 265 games, and 579 times of me screaming "NO TOMMY DON'T DO IT!!!!" tommy finally broke 1000 rushing yards! i think it should be noted that he did lose 160 total yards over the years by taking knees at the ends of games that were firmly in hand, but i guess 265 games is still a lot considering michael vick did in 22. nevertheless, tommy was pretty proud of the milestone - and it put him well past peyton manning's 667 rushing yards, which mom would say is all that really matters. if you're wondering, the rest of our team played well during this game, too. rex burkhead looked solid in his return and our defense pulled down a few interceptions - but tommy's getting the totw (for breaking the record, mom, not for leaving peyton in the dust). congrats, tommy! feel free to stop running now, okay?


we play the dolphins in miami on sunday, which our patriots always seem to think is some kind of winter vacation instead of an actual football game that counts. we have no breathing room heading into pittsburgh the following week, so think your happy patriots thoughts that tommy doesn't run and sony michel does - and that somebody throws danny amendola into their carry-on for the flight home.

have a great week, and go pats!

love dav