Monday, September 8, 2014


alright tommy. it’s time to shave.
hey kids-
it’s football season again, and i think i might be dead because i’m super not feeling it. our patriots didn’t help at all yesterday, putting up their first opening day loss since 2003. it’s not that surprising for us to lose to miami in miami, but it is a pretty sucky way to start a season. i blame the beard.
our fearless quarterback was bristly in more ways than one, showing obvious frustration at throwing 59 passes and having only 29 of them caught. this was cute at first, but i’m getting really freaking tired of having no players on our team. tommy was definitely not on his game in the second half, but it’s going to be a long season if some of those boys don’t remember how to catch the football. i’m talking to you rob gronkowski. at least tommy had the good grace to cry about it. i’m usually so happy to see your face this time of year tommy, bur frankly, right now i’m glad i don’t have to look at you.

seriously – i think i might be broken because i’m really not interested in football at all and i don’t feel like giving the tommy of the week to anybody. it really makes me mad when we lose. to the dolphins. in week one. the first half of this game actually wasn’t awful – we had two nice drives and several awesome defensive turnovers, which was promising. i distinctly remember cheering for julian edelman and stephen gostkowski for, you know, doing their jobs, so let’s give this one to stephen. he hit a 60 yard field goal in preseason, and while i don’t do preseason totws, he usually gets overlooked during the season. i love you, stephen, but i reallllllly hope i don’t have to give this to you every week.

so the good news is that tommy’s in last place and you know he’s pissed off about it, which can only be good for us. the even gooder news is that the last time we lost the season opener, we won the super bowl. the goodest news is that this totw is all done. think some happy patriots thoughts so that i can start liking football again. we play the vikings in minnesota on sunday morning, and if we don’t win, i’ll be even crankier than this. you’ve been warned.
have  a great week, and um, well, go pats, i guess.
love dav

ps- if you want off this list, you can email me. or just hang in there. if i don’t like football again soon, you might not have to put up with it much longer!

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